Government Approved!

When my government approved alarm clock went off, I awoke from my slumber, on my government approved mattress and bed, warm in my government approved sheets and blankets.  When my feet hit the floor, it was a government approved floor, government approved carpeting and stumbling into the bathroom, feet upon government approved linoleum, and peed my personally approved stream of urine into my government approved toilet, with the appropriate government approved water flow.  Using the government approved lighting, I used the government approved toothbrush and toothpaste to remove the unapproved taste from my mouth.  Using the government approved shave cream and government approved razor, I removed the hair from my personally approved face.  Climbing into the government approved shower stall, with the government approved, low flow shower head, forcing me to become a felon by removing the government approved flow restrictor, I was able to take a freedom shower, secretly scoffing at my blatant breaking of government law and regulation.  Reaching for my government approved towel I once again feel the tyranny of the American government against my skin.  Naked, in front of my government approved mirror, I apply government approved deodorant to my none regulation body, realizing it contains a government approved medical device.  Using a government approved comb, I make myself presentable prior to entering my government approved closet, which is precisely as they want it, not as I want it.  Taking my government approved jeans, made in a non-government approved sweatshop, off of the government approved hanger, I realize that the government approved jeans made by a child laborer, who may or may not have sewn his fingers together while working the material after ten hours without a break, is actually a government approved approval of slavery.  Opening my government approved dresser drawer, I take out a pair of government approved socks and looking briefly at the government approved briefs I decide to live dangerously and free ball today (Why hasn’t anyone done a parody of Tom Petty’s Free Fallin’, called Free Ballin’?).  

In my government approved kitchen I use the government approved coffee maker to brew up some government approved coffee, and drink it in my government approved coffee mug.  I have some government approved eggs and toast, made in my government approved skillet, stove and toaster.  I eat them with government approved utensils on a government approved plate, while watching Fox on my government approved television, with my government approved tablet in my lap, reading the latest news, which is government approved, from the government approved media, beamed to me via my government approved satellite.  After putting the dirty dishes in the government approved dishwasher I slipped on my government approved shoes and headed out to my government approved car.

Once in my government approved car, I fastened my government approved seatbelt, in the government approved manner and headed out at the government approved speed, mostly (okay, rarely, but it is my way of resisting all tyranny).  Using the government approved road, I reach the government approved store, where I can buy, with my government approved money, government approved food.  Returning home, in my government approved car, on the same government approved route, to my same government approved home to go through the same routine, once again.  But, I take a detour, to stop briefly at a Tea Party rally, with other patriots, in their government approved clothes, waving government approved flags and government approved Gadsden Flags, waving signs made of government approved material and suddenly, it hit me….We are involved in a government approved protest of the government we oppose.  It is as if we the people are government approved too and there is no escaping the government approved tyranny and oppression.

Doc Liberty – Government Approved Patriotic Warrior

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One response to “Government Approved!”

  1. Gino says :

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    wonderful article. However, if it possessed more pics it would most likely be quite possibly much
    better. Take care -Chelsea

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